Folders |
Running Again- where friends rush in.
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.........try to get my butt out the door for an early morning run, like always, for the last 20 years. These day's mornings....... colored differently now; without purpose, wasted time away from the one who gives me a reason to go out and play, then to come back home. She calls me her "hubel", her hero, though I feel no resemblance within. Sad.......empty. My bride is very sick. And I run?.........incongruent, non-sensical motion..........chasing the wind. Where's the meaning anymore? Running for me or for her- don't know-both. Her voice; earnestly she insists, along with Phil, and Gary, who tell me to keep going...........this is harder than any ultra..........a trail too steep, alone.....but they keep coming along. I go, I know they understand my heart.........not afraid to advise me on everything I don't want to hear, but need to hear; necessities of now, scenarios of the future, .......stay healthy for her. Let these friends help carry this unbearable weight. Never had friends like these who move in next to- to stay. Me, always independent, pretend macho......no longer any facade left......nothing there anymore. Secret's out, actually need my friends.......couldn't face this without. But once, again, I will go home and live in every moment for today with "wifel". And that's enough for now. Thank you my friends, Chaser |